


Kisses Like Secrets

by DeathValleyQueen



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/F, Implied Child Abuse, Implied abuse, Implied homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 22:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18323648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathValleyQueen/pseuds/DeathValleyQueen
Summary: Max wants to kiss someone not Lucas. And maybe the person she wants to kiss wants to kiss her back?





	Kisses Like Secrets

It wasn’t what Max intended to do with her afternoon. I mean, ok, she’d thought about it, of course she had. The idea had idled restless in her mind like her brother’s car just outside the arcade: always ready to speed off. But it had always remained an idea, still in park and safe. Winter had faded without incident, and then spring arrived with its buds and beauty and still the idea had stayed there, content in its parking spot. Now the summer, oppressively humid in a way California never had been, surrounded her. Throughout all these months she and Jane had become friends. Gone was the awkward uncertainty of new faces in the midst of life and death, and in its place was two teen girls who found they liked the same kinds of music, the same kinds of clothes, but not at all the same kind of boys. 

And Max liked boys. She liked Lucas. She was like eighty percent sure that she liked Lucas and not Jane. Yes, Jane was softness and curly hair and lips the palest pink but that didn’t mean Max liked her. It didn’t mean Max liked girls. It was just an idea, and ideas can’t hurt you. 

Besides, Max knows that it wouldn’t matter. Even if she maybe, sort of, kind of, possibly had a crush on Jane, there wasn’t anything that she could do about it. Jane liked Mike -- this was a well established fact. Mike and Jane, Jane and Mike. That was the IT couple, the one that made it to the end of the story with hearts in their eyes and I Love Yous on their lips. The story ended with the princess and her prince, not some other random princess from a far away kingdom. 

So it sat, the idea of a kiss that could never happen, in the back of Max’s mind. Most of the time she could ignore it completely, block out what little parts of her cried to forget the rough skin of Lucas’s hand and replace it with Jane’s careful touches. They went to the mall together, saw movies together, sang to whatever song was on the radio together. It was good. Max had never had a close girl friend before, and she loved it. She didn’t want to risk it falling like sand between her fingers.

Then that afternoon came. The summer sun was so much worse than normal, leading Max and Jane to camp out inside Max’s recently air conditioned house. It was just them. Billy was at his job, Max’s mom had gone into town for some hair maintenance, and her step-dad was at work. Max lay on her stomach next to Jane as they flipped through a glossy Seventeen magazine they’d swiped from the store.

“Pretty,” Jane said, letting her fingers slide over a purple and pink dress.

“Totally,” Max agreed, trying to pretend that she was talking about the dress and not the girl in the dress. 

“Max?” Jane asked. When Max replied with a hum, she went on. “Have you and Lucas kissed?”

The air around them got a little warmer, and Max could feel her pale skin turn a shade closer to her hair. “Uh. Yeah. We have a few times. But not like a lot?” Was it a lot? A total of five times wasn’t a lot, right? Oh fuck, it was, wasn’t it? She was a total kiss slut!

“I kissed Mike at the dance.” Jane said. “But I haven’t since then.”

“Oh. Well, that’s ok. I mean you don’t have to kiss like all the time or whatever.”

Jane was quiet for awhile. They flipped through the magazine while a strange tension built around them. Max felt the moment when Jane’s eyes turned from the magazine and landed on Max. “I don’t think I want to kiss Mike as much as I want to kiss someone else.”

Slowly, her heart hammering in her chest, Max turned to look at Jane. They were no closer than they were a few moments before but somehow it felt as if they were. Like the universe had bent itself so that Jane could feel the tickle of Jane’s breath on her lips. “Who do you want to kiss?” Max asked, her voice a whisper of a thing, thin as the finest silk.

Jane didn’t answer with words. Instead, inch by inch, they both move closer. Max would never forget the feel of Jane’s lips on hers, the soft way that Jane let out a breath against them. Time slowed, crawling by like the sun in the middle of July. Jane pulled closer, and Max discovered her hand resting on the softest cheek ever invented by god or man.

Maybe they could have gone like this, forever becoming more entangled in each other until two became one. Maybe, if the world had been the kind of place that would have allowed it, they would have lived forever in this perfect moment together. But the world did not work that way, and all fairy tales had dragons.

“What the fuck.” 

Jane and Max flew apart, Jane ramming into the headboard while Max literally fell off the bed. Billy stood in the doorway, hands balled into angry fists at his side. Something burned brighter than a bonfire in his eyes. Max felt all the blood leave her face. She was fucked. She was fucked beyond reason. “Billy,” Max swallowed the name like a frog. “We were just--”

“You,” he pointed at Jane. “You need to leave now.”

Both girls jumped to their feet. “Billy, she can’t, she doesn’t have a ride.” Max linked hands with Jane, hoping the contact would help support her. Instead, Max noticed the way Billy sucked in his cheeks. “Please, Billy. It’s not safe for her to walk home.”

There’s a moment, then two, while this hung between all of them. “Fine,” Billy said through his teeth. “Jane, go wait in my car. I’ll be out to take you home in a minute.”

Again, as one, the girls began to move towards the door but Billy put up a hand and stopped Max. “Not you. I need to talk to you. Alone.”

Jane gave Max a look. Although the last thing Max wanted was to be left alone with Billy, she also didn’t want Jane to be caught in the middle of whatever hell Billy was about to put her through. “It’s ok, Jane. I’ll be out soon.”

With one last look at Max, Jane nodded. A few moments later, Billy and Max were alone in Max’s bedroom. “You’re such an asshole!” Max found herself screaming before Billy could even open his mouth. “You come barging into my room without even knocking and kick my friend out of the house? You don’t fucking own this house, and you don’t own me! I can’t fucking believe you feel like you have the right to every single thing I do with my time! You control who my friends are, how long I can be out, who gets to be in the house. I’m fucking tired of--”

“Max,” Billy’s voice was flat, but behind it Max caught something she hadn’t heard since that night at the Byer’s house. Fear… Billy was afraid. “You can’t do that shit in this house.”

Max blinked, not understanding. “Why the fuck not?” Max crossed her hands over her chest. “It’s not hurting anyone.”

“Goddamnit, Max.” He grabbed her arms, holding her tight enough to bruise. She struggled against him but he held faster.

“Let me go!” 

“Not until you listen to me.”

“I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my brother.”

“I am trying to protect you!” 

Silence, thick and dangerous as a swamp, seeped through the walls.

“What?” Max asked, her voice barely audible and yet shockingly loud in the wake of Billy’s words.

“If my dad had caught you with Jane… If he even guessed that the two of you were doing this, he’d lose it. He would hurt you, Max, and I can’t protect you from it. I can’t take the blame for that, even if I tried. He’d hurt you, and he’d probably kick you out, and I couldn't stop him. You can’t do that here or anywhere he might see you. Do you understand?”

Max nodded, her eyes wide as a full moon. “Billy,” a hot tear rolled her cheek. “I’m sorry. I just--- I didn’t think--”

All at once the hands on her arms disappeared and instead wrapped around her shoulders. Billy had never once hugged her before this, but it felt like something lost long ago, a dream that you’d only remember years after. She hugged him back, crying because this was scary. This was no longer the idle car in the parking lot. This was a drag race, pulling her back against the seat with the speed of it all. 

“It’s ok,” Billy said. “He’s never going to know. I’ll make sure he never knows. That he never hurts you.”

Max saw it then: all the ways Billy had protect her. All the times he had yelled at her, he’d known who would get punished for her misbehavior. And something else clicked as well, something about Billy and who Billy was and the kind of person Billy might like to kiss.

“You, too.” Max said, hugging him tighter still. “I’ll make sure he never knows about you, too.”

Billy didn’t say anything to that. Instead, he got her something to dry her eyes and a cold water. They drove Jane home together. Jane didn’t ask what happened, but held hands with Max in the back seat. And when they pulled up to Jane’s house, Billy looked away when Max kissed her on the cheek. On the drive home, Max moved to the front seat. Billy let her choose the music. He had never done that before. Their secrets sat between them, a little less secret now but a little more secure regardless. Billy changed the music after two songs, complaining loudly about Max having no taste.


End file.
